That's all I have to say really. Today, in the words of Paul Whitehouse, "I are been mostly feeling.........pissed off".
I was perfectly pregnant for nine wonderful months. Everyone commented how well I looked, how radiant, "How BIG!", "Pregnancy suits you", "You look blooming"....
...please, keep the cliches coming!
Then one day, my wriggly, wiggly little girl stopped moving. And my whole world turned to shit. I have a perfect nursery that, once more, is being turned into a dumping ground for our life junk. I have a buggy, I have a car seat, I have baby clothes, a baby bath, a cot mobile, a baby monitor.
No baby though.
I had a baby. But I lost her. I hate that phrase, it makes it sound as though I put Lucy down whilst I looked for the car keys and then forgot where I had put her.
A couple of months ago I was massive, plump, bursting with a healthy little girl. But I couldn't keep her alive, my body let her down and she suffocated.
She had masses of hair, long blonde eyelashes, long legs and MASSIVE feet! Just like her Dad. Her skin was soft, her fingernails were perfect. She was my wonderful little daughter. this is Lucy: