Today I found out I am 5 weeks pregnant with baby number 5.
After 2 miscarriages, 1 stillbirth and 1 live birth you would think I would be ready, aware, prepared for another pregnancy.
This baby was not 'planned', if you like. We had talked of more children. But financially, emotionally, we had decided to wait until at least December 2012 to start actively 'trying'.
Best laid plans of mice and all that.
A drunken, laughing fumble in Blackpool appears to have given us a most unexpected surprise. Not a bad surprise, just a bolt from the blue. Ironic given how many months during 'trying' to get pregnant have resulted in negatives, there really is truth in 'not thinking about it'.
I am so grateful and scared at the same time. I feel I have betrayed Georgia, and yet I am excited to meet our new creation. It is early days and so much can change so very swiftly, which makes me anxious. But I really want to enjoy this new life inside me. Lets see what happens next.